Christmas tree humor

After a very hectic and STRESSFUL first few weeks of December, I decided that I was going to put up our Christmas tree the third week (come heck or high water). Usually it is a task that is done the first week of December because I LOVE the lights on the tree. . . I think it makes the house feel warm and comfortable. The first Christmas after I moved out of my grandparents' house, they bequeathed their larger tree to me because they felt like it took too much energy to get it out of the basement, put all the decorations on it, etc. (When I was living with them, I did most of that). Last year, Amy and I could tell that the tree was struggling a little. We had a hard time getting it to be straight. I knew that this would probably be the last year with my grandpa's tree. Still, I was happy about it because it was a way to include his happy presence in our house during the holiday season. . .

As I got the tree out (past my sister's deadline of doing projects, which is 8:00. .. she doesn't like noise after 8, she just wants to relax), I tried to get it to stand in the tree stand (the stand it originally came in had broken off, and we now put the wire trunk into PVC pipe and into a stand). It looked great when I looked at the bottom, but as my eyes travelled to the top of the tree, I noticed it was leaning significantly. Hmmmmmm... So, I asked Amy for some help. I undid the clamps at the bottom and made sure the trunk was perfectly straight. I looked up and it was leaning even more. . . actually, it looked like the top third of the tree was bent to the side at about a 45 degree angle. I wish I had taken a picture, I'm not describing it very well. So, then I thought I hadn't got the trunk in just right. I asked Amy to hold the tree so it was straight at the top. When she did, I tightened the screws/clamps at the bottom and we let go of the tree. . . apparently, in order for the top to be straight, the bottom had to be almost on its side. . . which meant that as soon as we let go, the tree fell over.

To my dismay, I realized that this beautiful. . . and VERY crooked tree. . .was not going to be a part of my Christmas decor this year. I was heartbroken, not only at the fact that I couldn't put up a tree that night, but also that my grandpa's tree wasn't going to be in my house anymore. With a heavy heart, I stuffed the poor thing back into the big tree bag and prepared for the trek to the garbage thing (I must be tired, I'm having word finding issues :-). I began to cry as I hauled this large bag to the dumpster (oh, that's the word). I dragged it along the ground for several feet, then looking up, I saw a police car sitting in front of the dumpster. I passed the car and with sobs filling the air, I hefted and heaved that dead Christmas tree bag as high as I could to throw it away. At that moment, my sister came toward me and gave me a hug. I then noticed the police officer sitting in his car. . . He didn't say anything. . . but he was there watching as I sobbed into my sister's shoulder in the cold winter night after throwing away our Christmas tree.

We decided to go across the street to K-Mart to buy a new tree (and found one that is exactly the same as the one we threw away, YAY!). On the way, we imagined all kinds of scenarios about what the police officer must have been thinking as I hefted this huge bag into the dumpster with hysterical tears. . . We wondered what he did after we left :-)

(From Amy) I had been watching a marathon of Psych. A show about a fake psychic who helps police solve crimes. Murder is usuallly involved. As I hurried out to the dumpster , I watched Dawn heave a rather large bag into the dumpster and there was the police car in front of it. When I saw the policeman coming towards his car (which was right next to us) I almost wanted to hurriedly explain that it was a tree in the dumpster and not a body. I refrained from doing so in case he thought that I protested too much.